July 18, 2022

Story Time - Going Commando At An Indian Restaurant


Image: The Adam & Eve Pub in Swansea, Circa 2000s

To preface this story, my father recently passed away and I was thinking of all the laughs we had together over the years. This story keeps coming to the front of my mind, it may be a case of you had to be there but I've decided to share it all with you! For those of a sensitive nature, it's probably best not to read on...

It all began on a chilly December evening in 2004. My father and I caught the train to Swansea and headed down the High Street to a pub called the 'Adam & Eve'. This pub was one of the best ones in Swansea and had live music most nights and this particular evening, we were off to see 'The Tremblin' Knees' which were a great live cover band with Tony 'Plum' Hollis on lead vocals. They were fantastic, as usual, and the drinks flowed, though we didn't get too drunk. We met up with some friends there and during the set, my dad disappeared to go to the toilet and was gone for a couple of songs. When he came back, I asked him if he was alright, he nodded that he was and we carried on boozing and singing.

After the band finished their set, I was starving. I suggested to dad we head next door to the Indian restaurant and have a curry before we got the train home. He agreed and we said goodbye to the band and our friends and went out into the cold night for a couple of steps up the road to the Indian restaurant. I forget the name of it now, but it has been many things over the years since and is currently a Japanese restaurant I believe.

We headed in, the waiter greeted us and told us to sit down in the waiting area while they readied a table. It was a week night and the restaurant wasn't that full so we didn't have long to wait before they showed us back to a booth. I sat, facing the door and my dad busied himself taking off his coat because they had the heating on in this place. I placed my elbows on the table and then my eyes caught something strange; The waiter was heading towards our booth carrying a silver tray with what appeared to be a pair of grey boxer shorts on it. I was about to tell my dad when the waiter, not saying a word, stopped beside our booth and leaned down, as if he was a footman serving food at a nobility dinner in the 1900s. "Here you are, sir." The waiter said to my dad and my dad glanced at the boxer shorts on the tray and said "Oh! Thanks!" and took the underwear, stuffing them in his coat pocket. The waiter nodded and headed off.

Now, I had questions. Questions that weren't being answered by my dad's mutter to me of "That was lucky!" and the other diner's quizzical glances. They were just as much in the dark as me! After a moment, I leaned in and asked "What the hell was that about?! Were those boxers?! Why was the waiter giving you a pair of boxers? Were they yours?" and my dad laughed and, in a hushed tone, clued me in.

It turns out he'd done a wet fart, or a "shart" if you will, in his pants when we were rocking out in the Adam & Eve. He'd decided to go to the toilet, clean up, take off his boxers and shove them in his coat pocket. Why was the waiter now presenting them to him on a silver platter? Well, they obviously fell out of his coat pocket when we sat down to wait for a table and the waiter noticed them and knew exactly what to do. I started to laugh hysterically and pretty soon, my father saw it from my point of view of not knowing that this had happened in the pub and just seeing the waiter randomly serve my dad a pair of boxers and we were both in hysterics all the way through the meal and the train home.

It's a story I told many times to others in front of him and it's one I'll continue to tell now he's no longer with us. 

Taken in the Adam & Eve, 2004.


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